I met this girl at the university I’m attending. We really hit it off. I have asked her out. Should I continue to flirt with other girls? Should I keep dating other girls at the university to make her more attracted to me? I have heard that if you show you are in high demand with many girls wanting you, it will make girls more interested in you. Is that true? This whole attracting girls at the university could get her mad at me and backfire.

Yes. You should do this. Girls are very jealous and territorial by nature. Doing this will attract her even more. Don’t stop doing this until things get more serious and you and her agree to see each other exclusively.

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I am doing all the reading I can about her culture because I’m totally afraid of inserting my foot in my mouth. I don’t want to say or do something that will offend her. I want to treat her like I do any other woman, with respect. She is so different than any other woman that I have dated. I want to make sure I show her a good time. Can you give me any helpful Jewish dating advice?

You need to avoid two things: religion and politics. I’m not saying you should be religiously ignorant, I think it’s great you are studying her culture. What I’m saying is don’t think that she’s all about what you read about her culture and don’t think that she’s all about religion. Let her take the lead with religion. If she talks about it, go for it, but don’t you constantly be bringing it up. Just focus on showing her a great time.

The second subject you need to avoid is politics. Among Israelis politics is a real area of dispute to the point of violence occasionally. Israelis are very sensitive to politics. If you meet her family and her dad tries to lure you into a political discussion (as Israeli fathers often do in order to feel you out), side step. Dodge and weave.

The worst thing you can do is to grab a Jewish joke from the Internet. You can’t even crack an innocent joke with most Israelis. Also, don’t mention the word Arab.

Now younger people are less into politics and less sensitive in this area but watch out for her parents.

Usually you want to ask a lot of general questions to keep a fun and light conversation.

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If you are having trouble getting off first base with women then the problem might be that you have fallen into the “just be yourself” trap.

Women often tell guys to “just be yourself”. But approaching a date with your whole game plan as just being yourself is a recipe for disaster.

Remember, all that dating really is, in the simplest of terms, is you “SELLING YOURSELF” to the women that you are most attracted to.

There is a huge, never ending debate on whether it is better to just “be yourself” and let the chips fall where they may, or whether it is better to create a specific persona that attracts the kind of women you desire and that gets your foot in the door.

You will need to decide for yourself as I don’t care to be a part of this time consuming, never ending debate. I can tell you the test results of what women say.

Persona (ranked in order of what most guys think attracts women)

1 – Conceited King, I’m better than everyone else role. This is the “high-brow” who is trendy, perhaps even “yuppy”. He is the Prince who lives in a castle on the hill. He appears to be financially well off. He is self-centered and talks about himself and his possessions. Many women want nothing more than to be taken to his castle to sit beside him on his throne.

2 – Rough and tough bad boy. James Dean, “Rebel Without a Cause” persona. He’s rowdy. He goes against mainstream society. Rationally, women want nothing to do with this kind of guy as he can pull her down with him. Emotionally, some women are turned on by this modern-day outlaw and want him to dominate her and take her to bed where he can ravage her.

3 – Playboy who is all about sex and nothing else. He is sensuous. All that he thinks and talks about is sensual.

4 – Confident charmer. He plays it calm, cool, and in control. He knows himself. He knows what he is looking for. Women know he knows and that makes him alluring. This is why “just be yourself” works. It’s not that you are really just trying to be yourself. No. It’s that by being yourself, you are projecting an outward image of being calm, cool, and in control.

Now a survey was done of hundreds of women asking which persona they were most attracted to. The results might surprise you.

Persona (what women said they are most attracted to)

#1 Persona that attracts women (53%) = Confident charmer.
#2 Persona that attracts women (27%) = Rough and tough bad boy.
#3 Persona that attracts women (11%) = Conceited King.
#4 Persona that attracts women (9%) = Playboy

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